The day my head caught up with my heart

There are times when I've had the most breath taking moments of clarity, where everything around me - the people, the places - comes into such sharp focus that I can't breath. I call those moments hyper-reality. It's just too much to take in and I feel my brain withdrawing from it all by focusing on something mundane outside of my visual path.

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Robbie and I had been dating since around the Fourth of July. Kind of casual, seeing each other several times a week and spending weekends together. I, for one, had no intention of getting into a serious relationship again after the psycho. I'd just see how this relationship played itself out and then move on, content with the notion that if I was dating, fine, if I weren't, that was fine too.

That October, my neighbors invited me and Robbie to go away for the weekend with them to Union Pier, Michigan. Just a little trip north while the weather was still good. Maybe do some antiquing (my neighbors ran a booth at an antique mall) and just enjoy Lake Michigan. So, Robbie and I packed up the convertible and hit the road.

We arrived late Friday afternoon and spent the rest of the day talking, drinking some wine with the neighbors and just enjoying each others company. The cottage we stayed in was on a bluff overlooking the lake. We went to bed that night listening to the waves crashing onto the shore below us.

The next day we went to a late brunch and then shopping around with the guys. One of the places we stopped at was actually a tent set up in the middle of a gravel parking lot. Robbie and I wandered around for a while making small talk while my neighbors shopped and tried to figure out how to get an antique stove home - they were in a Dodge Neon. When Robbie and I had seen everything we went outside to wait for my neighbors still chatting about nothing in particular.

It was getting late in the day and the wind had picked up. The sun was behind me and was shining on Robbie's face. I remember that we had stopped talking and were just standing there. I have no idea where my mind was, but Robbie got this smile on his face, tilted his head and said "I know, me too." It was like someone had snapped a rubber band against my brain. I saw everything with crystal clarity and knew at that moment that I was hopelessly and forever in love with him. And knew that he felt the same about me. I can still picture him standing in that parking lot, wearing brown Doc Martins, denim jeans, brown carcoat, and a dark blue ball cap, smiling at me, loving me. I've never been more sure of, nor more aware of anything in my life than at that moment.

Robbie has been my salvation. He has shown me that it is possible to love and be loved by someone and not regret it. He has given me a family that I absolutely adore. They are everything my family is not. They are loud, they are opinionated, and they love completely. It's been an honor to have been accepted into their lives and hearts, and I would do anything that they would ask of me.

But more importantly, he gave me a life. We have a modest little house, a beautiful baby girl and the sweetest dog. We have each other and I know that no matter what, we'll be there for each other. He supports me in trying my hand at writing and doesn't complain when I've been struggling with a story idea until 5 am and he has to get Riley ready for daycare.

It would be a cliche to say the he is my other half and he completes me. It also wouldn't be true. He does more than that. He lets me be myself and is happy when I succeed. He truly is my best.