Holy Night

Last night our family joined our neighbors family to go to a Christmas Eve service at their church. It isn't far from our house and is a small church I've passed by many times on the way home from work. (Trinity Christian for any locals who may want to know.) We followed the Wises - funny, I just got that, three Wise women and one Wise man - to hear the story of the Christ child being born in a manger. A story I have heard dozens of times. We walked into the church and I thought "well this is different." There are no pews for people, only padded upholstered stacking chairs that you might find in an office building to be used in multi-purpose room. The sanctuary was lined along the outer walls with cast-off sofas and chairs which would have been more at home in someones' family room. The most striking difference in this sanctuary was the dais wasn't used for a pulpit and choir but instead had several round table and chairs with more sofas and chairs lining it.

What would normally be thought of as the dais was in the middle of one wall of the sanctuary - not raised above everyone, but on the same level with only a simple Cross attached to the wall between two sets of stained glass windows. The choir was actually a band of four: one man playing guitar and operating as the lead singer, a woman accompanying him while playing the accordion, one man was playing the bongos (which I've also never seen done) and the fourth man was playing the mandolin. We had just arrived as they were starting the evenings singing. Simple. Unadorned. Four instruments and hundreds of voices old and young singing along to "Joy to the World" followed by "Hark the Herald Angel Sing," my heart remembering the words without having to look at the program.

The pastor spoke then of the often told Christmas story and said to us that we have heard the story so many times we probably don't even hear the words anymore. We sing the same songs so much that we don't hear their meaning anymore. And he asked us to really listen this time to hear the words that were being said, to open up to what the story really is about... the gift of love. For god so loved us that he sacrificed his only son to save us.

We ended the services with "Silent Night" accompanied by the band as people held candles and passed the light around.  The lights of the sanctuary were dimmed as the light that was passed grew stronger one flicker of flame at a time. At the end it was only the light of the candles (glow sticks for the little ones) and the voices of people singing again the first verse:

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

May you find peace, love, and joy. That is my Christmas wish for everyone. Merry Christmas.

Focusing on the Wrong Issue

One thing I want to say is all of you who speak about how we shouldn't turn this into a talk about gun controls or bans because of what happened today... I want you to go and tell that to the families of the people who have lost their children. Face to face. Go ahead, tell them it's not guns that murdered their child, that a person did and see how much solace that gives those mothers and fathers. And those who say we need guns in the hands of innocent people to protect themselves from this sort of evil are delusional. Not one person inside or outside of law enforcement with a gun was able to prevent this horrific tragedy. NOT ONE.

There is one particular heinous Facebook post this afternoon that said we might as well ban machetes and chainsaws (lay off the horror movies buddy) if we start legislating stricter gun control. If somebody is coming at you with a knife you at least have a chance to run or shield yourself from an attacker and have a greater chance of surviving. Plus there’s less chance of a knife (or chainsaw?!?) attack turning into a mass murder. And chainsaw attacks – wouldn’t you hear the chainsaw being revved up before the-would-be attacker got close?

Second amendment arguers can also step back. The founding fathers could never have foreseen the invention of the semi- automatic weapon. Check your history books and ask some experts about the time it takes to actually load a Revolutionary War Era musket with powder and a lead ball. Accuracy of muskets? Ask yourself why the troops were told not to fire until they saw “the whites of the eyes” of the British. It’s because they couldn’t waste a shot.  Today’s weaponry is just heinous.

 

I wrote that yesterday with tears streaming down my face. I stand behind these statements today. I don't want to read or hear the mass murderer's name or why he did it - or how focusing on mental health issues could have prevented it. Truth is it would take more tax dollars which no one is willing to give up right now. Since the 1970's this country has systematically dismantled any mental health programs that may have kept someone like this man off the streets and away from our children. I'm not even sure that he would have been locked away. Did anyone think he was a threat? Right now though, the story needs to focus on the monstrosity of this act and others like it in the recent past. I don't care to see reporters pushing microphones in the faces of the families who are dealing with grief. I don't want to see news trucks surrounding funerals and disturbing these families at what rightfully so should not be a public spectacle. I almost didn't publish this post because of that. However I do feel that it is more than past time to have a real and honest discussion about gun control.

I'm Dreaming of a...

One of the hazards of this time of year is the constant onslaught of messages telling us to create the most magical Christmas ever! Compound that with this being the busiest time at work and you can see why I just wanted to go hibernate somewhere - alone. Instead I decided to make the best of it and tune to the Holiday Station on streaming radio with my smart phone instead of hearing the same 20 pop songs ad nauseum. Yeah I know, my first mistake. Here's some things I've learned from listening to "Sounds of the Season" for the past few days while at work.

1) The worst holiday song is not, I repeat is not "The Little Drummer Boy." In fact The Jackson Five's version is probably the best in my opinion because it is decidedly more upbeat. Plus you can't get a better message than a song that says giving of yourself is the best gift. No the worst song by far is "Baby's First Christmas" By Connie Francis.  Just typing those words has caused the song to loop endlessly in my brain. It's an inane, cloying, and insipid piece of work that someone found in a dustbin somewhere and decided to throw into the mix for a little variety. Which brings me to...

2) There are only 15 Christmas songs that have ever been written. Go ahead, name more than fifteen. Can't do it can you? There are on the other hand thousands of versions of the same songs recorded every year. It's a record label contract requirement that at some point in a singer's career they have to record an album of Christmas music. Need proof? Barry Manilow. Bette Midler. Britney Spears. That point is usually on the down side of their career trajectory. And this brings me to another singer who probably has done more harm with their renditions of Christmas songs...

3) Dean Martin. Rudy the Red Beaked Reindeer? Really? I understand that artists want to put their own "stank" on music but this is one that should have been bitch-slapped and told "nuh uh." I'm blaming him for everyone jumping on the bandwagon for the besmirchment of "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Before Deano got a hold of it it was about two people who are trying to come up with any excuse to stay together a little longer for an evening. After listening to Dean's version several times a day I can understand why people think the guy put something in the gal's drink. I always thought that the girl was trying to give herself an out and saying she wasn't responsible for her actions. You have to remember that at the time the song was written it wasn't respectable for a single woman to be in a man's home after a certain time of the night.

The old saw about everything in moderation also applies to Christmas music. I don't know why stations haven't figured out that all or nothing doesn't work. A better way would be to mix Christmas music in with the regular stuff. Oh, one last thing, would someone destroy all the copies of 'Babies First Christmas" please?

Karma's a Bitch

Recently I was chatting with a friend online when I reminded him that a comment he had made had come around full circle and bit him on the ass. He was talking about having to do housework while his husband was watching TV. He had just posted a comment about sitting with another househusband drinking coffee at the local beanery while making fun of all the people who had to work.
"Karma" I said.
To which he replied "So Karma really is a bitch."
"Yes, and a lying one at that!"
He said he knew there was a story there and would remind me of it later.

This isn't it.

Karma really can come and bite you in the ass. I prefer not to play with her right now and if I tell that story I was referring to with my friend I would be deeply afraid of the ramifications that would henceforth come my way. Superstitious you ask? No, not really. I just like to cover my bases and not take chances like that.  Besides I really don't want to delve into something from my past that may cause embarrassment to someone else as it doesn't paint that person in the best light.

This is more about my bad memory and having Robbie remind me of all sorts of stupid things. Like Karma wasn't who I wasn't the name of the woman I was thinking of. Karma is a very nice woman HE works with. My awful person has an entirely different name rendering my pun moot.

He's constantly having to remind me of appointments, commitments, dinner arrangements, what we're doing the next weekend and where I left my keys. I'd be concerned about memory loss but then I spot something shiny and that's the last of that thought. I'm serious about the shiny objects though. Distractions are the bane of my.... Oh look, Monica Potter is on TV.  I really liked her in Patch Adams. Didn't care for the movie that much but was really enamored with her. She looks like a blond version of Julia Roberts to me. Maybe they could play sisters in a movie together.

Again, I digress. There is a point (I think) to my ramblings and hopefully for your sake I'll get to it shortly. Karma. In popular western societal usage it seems to be referring to a payback for deeds committed good or bad. In cliches it would be defined as what goes around comes around. That is not something I wish to happen to me.  Plus the fact that whenever I bring up someone's name from the past, they seem to have a way of manifesting their way into my present. So I'm choosing not to sling Karmic Krap out there and have it land on my face.

That brings me to my point. Several people have suggested that I write about the events that have happened over my 51+ years that have made me who I am. To do so would be naming names and keeping a ledger. I know that the tell-all memoirs are hot right now - especially ones that tell how people have overcome adversity to become the person they are today. Strong. Determined. Wise. One person in the tell-all camp said that if people don't want to be seen in a unflattering light they wouldn't do things to cause hurt. On the other side of the argument a very dear friend said she actively chose not to tell certain things in her memoirs knowing that she would hurt people near and dear to her. Even in that very conscience decision she still inadvertently hurt some people anyway. And just how wise can someone be by inflicting pain on those people who have caused pain? Sure, they may be strong and determined in doing so, I'm just not sure how wise that is.

Almost Clouds

Photo by Amanda Milloway from her Facebook page

There are people who are meant to do great things and we are all better for having them among us. Today is the day to remember one of them and honor a friend who was on this planet oh so briefly. She was someone I never had the privilege of meeting in person but could call friend anyway. Even though we were separated by hundreds of miles we were friends brought together through someone else's blog. We became friends on Facebook and celebrated each other's milestones and achievements, and grieved our losses together.

I'm not going to go into detail with what happened because frankly I don't know them or need them. All I know is that Amanda Burgess Milloway is no longer with us and that grieves me deeply. There are many things I could say that frankly seem empty and hollow. I'll just let this speak of her although it too is inadequate in its telling of the person we lost: http://www.memorialsolutions.com/sitemaker/memsol.cgi?user_id=752273

Let Me Grab My Soapbox - Part 3

There has been quite a bit in the news since I started this soapbox rant. The last few weeks have been particularly emotional with the passage of Amendment One in North Carolina and the subsequent pronouncement from President Obama that marriage equality is the right thing to do. Now I'd like to add a few things to the fray.

First allowing gay and lesbian couples to legally marry won't cause the Earth to spin off it's axis. In fact it quite possibly will have a stabilizing effect and close up that hole in the ozone layer. (Hey if you can spout ridiculous theories about what marriage equality will cause then so can I.) Both Canada and Great Britain have allowed same sex couples to participate in legal marriages for going on ten years now and those countries have not disappeared under a black cloud of God's wrath.

Second, while this country was founded on the principle of freedom of religion let us not forget that the first settlers from Europe were the Puritans who were escaping religious persecution. And now hundreds of years later it seems to be perfectly acceptable to persecute/bully people when they don't subscribe to certain views on what is properly Christian. And please don't take this as an anti-Christian rant - it isn't. It's a rant against those who scream the loudest from the conservative right that their freedoms and rights are now being trampled on. Get over yourselves. Nothing is being taken away from you. If you don't believe in marriage equality then don't marry someone of the same sex. No one is forcing you to do so. And for the matter of protecting your children from the "homosexual agenda" - can you get any more ridiculous? No one is a bigger influence on a child than a child's parents if those parents are doing their job. If as most of you claim that a child is best raised in a household with both a mother and father then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Isn't it as simple as explaining to your children that your beliefs are such that you see marriage equality as wrong?

Third, if you think that marriage equality will force your church to allow same sex couples to wed in your sanctuaries you need to consider this: are people now allowed to be wed in your church who don't believe what your church teaches? Do Catholics allow non-Catholic couples to be wed in their churches? Do Rabbis perform ceremonies for Baptists in their temples? What makes you think that we want to be married in such a hostile environment! Trust me when I say that we don't. There are plenty of other places, courthouses, churches, and temples that will be more than happy to perform marriage ceremonies for us.

Last, this needs to be considered: when was the last time you heard of someone walking into a church to get a marriage license? You haven't. Marriage licenses are proffered from an office of the government. The conservative right wants to make this a religious matter when the simple truth is that a marriage certificate is a legal contract between two people of consenting age, witnessed by other people by placing their signatures upon it. Any religious connotations beyond that is what you want to make of it.


The following was found on Buzzfeed:

Let Me Grab My Soapbox - Part 2

Several weeks ago another Facebook friend - I'm starting to see a trend here - posted a video link from Focus on the Family and said she "love[s] what this organization is doing" which prompted me to post a comment leading to a slightly heated exchange:

Jim Shue:   That is a great message. However what is left out is FotF constant attacks on the LGBT community and their insistence that gay parents are somehow harming their children. He talks about the strength of marriage, yet his organization wants to deny basic marriage rights to people like me and my partner who have been together for over 11 years. 

Sunday at 11:01am  

Facebook Friend:   They are acting on their convictions, as are you. We could talk about this endlessly. Here is what I KNOW. God loves you and your partner and your daughter, and me and my husband and everyone who has ever walked the planet, in spite of the fact that we all have earned his judgement in an endless number of ways. What He wants is to be in relationship with us, and the greatest prize for all of us is to know HIM.

Sunday at 1:49pm ·

Jim Shue:   The difference is that they are trying to impose their convictions through legislation - which is a completely different agenda than speaking of a God who loves all. Hate and intolerance (mis)spoken in His words are Orwellian newspeak. Hitler almost destroyed most of Europe acting on his convictions. 

Sunday at 2:19pm ·

Facebook Friend:  Are you really trying to draw a parallel between a group of Christians working to preserve something they hold dear through the process of law, and Hitler, who worked to destroy millions of lives through systematic genocide? Every law ever made is the imposition of conviction upon the citizenry. We live in a country where we ALL have the right to participate in that process. That's what a democracy is. So, isn't it "Orwellian newspeak" to call differing convictions "hate and intolerance"? 

Sunday at 3:04pm ·

Jim Shue:   I'm not calling different convictions hate and intolerance. I'm saying they promote hate and intolerance. That is the difference. You can be Christian without making others conform to a narrowly defined societal construct. And I think the parallel between this group and Hitler is a valid one as Hitler came into power by slowly stripping the citizens deemed as a danger to the vision of a new Germany of their rights. And aren't we as a democracy also to protect the rights of the minorities? 

These groups can still preserve what they hold dear without legislating their convictions upon the rest of the country - no one is telling them they can't. That is the difference. 

Sunday at 3:28pm 

On the website for Focus on the Family is an essay where the founder states: "Moms and Dads, are you listening? This movement is the greatest threat to your children. It is of particular danger to your wide-eyed boys, who have no idea what demoralization is planned for them." A separate article claims that "the homosexual agenda is a beast. It wants our kids." I was going to make a joke about how I missed my quota for last month but this is no joking matter. To equate being gay with pedophilia is just unconscionable and a complete fabrication. Their group is instilling and counting on fear to promote their political agenda. Yes, political agenda. If they truly believe that their cause is of a religious nature then they will keep it out of the political arena.

I've thought about this and other recent political events over the past few weeks and here is what is really causing a slow burn with me. The underlying message from these groups and a few of these Facebook friends is that I do not know God and that I'm not a Christian. Really? You know me that well and know what is in my heart? You are that tight with God that you know how I will be judged by him? I really don't have a rebuttal for you because your convictions will have you believe nothing else.

Let me remind you of another group, one started in this country that also has strong religious convictions, the KKK. Sadly in the 1920's Indiana was the group's central command and vestiges of their legacy are still apparent. You want to speak of strong convictions and only doing what they think was right? Then remember this group in particular and values they promote: "There is a race war against whites. But our people - my white brothers and sisters - will stay committed to a non-violent resolution. That resolution must consist of solidarity in white communities around the world. The hatred for our children and their future is growing and is being fueled every single day. Stay firm in your convictions. Keep loving your heritage and keep witnessing to others that there is a better way than a war torn, violent, wicked, socialist, new world order. That way is the Christian way - law and order - love of family - love of nation. These are the principles of western Christian civilization. There is a war to destroy these things. Pray that our people see the error of their ways and regain a sense of loyalty. Repent America! Be faithful my fellow believers."

National Director of The Knights, Pastor Thomas Robb. 

This quote is taken directly from the group's home page. Segregation as a way of life? How far we've come and still these groups want to stay rooted in a sepia tinted past. Still want to speak of a group's convictions and doing what they think is right? What about the KKK wars against African Americans, Jewish people, and gay people that have been going on for close to two centuries now in this country? What about the new war against anyone who is Muslim?  Fear mongering with the words "...hatred for our children and their future is growing and is being fueled every single day."  The only place that I see this happening is within their organization. I suspect that what this and other groups are truly afraid of is not having the upper hand and privilege they have enjoyed for centuries.

What's the common ground here? Is there one? On the surface yes. All of these groups want the same thing - a better future for our children just as the GLBT community wants. The difference is we want this without tearing down or restricting the rights of others. If you really want me to believe that a group does good work it won't include as part of their mission the exclusion of entire segments of our population because that segment is deemed a hindrance to "their" way of life and vision of how things should be. Because the truth is you can still promote family and help the underprivileged without denying others the same rights you enjoy.

One final thought for the Facebook Friend: I'm really trying to understand how as a woman you don't see the irony here. It was less than a century ago that women won their fight for the right to vote in this country. And that  women were considered nothing more than property - women were passed from their fathers to their soon-to-be husbands with a walk down the aisle. If you're not willing to give up those hard won rights how can you expect us to give up the fight for ours?


(Part 3 to follow shortly.)

Let Me Grab My Soapbox - Part 1

Yeah, it's been a while. Thanks to those who kept checking back and didn't completely abandon ship. From the Stats page I can see that the the viewership has stayed fairly constant since last spring when I became pissed with Blogger and the "Lost Blog Post".

This isn't the start of a New Year's Resolution or anything else as mundane as that. I just didn't have anything to say for a while. Rampant rambling just wasn't working for me. I've always considered myself a somewhat shy and quiet person - um, r-i-i-ght as Robbie would say. It seems as I've aged that I've become one of those people you can't shut up if I am the least little bit passionate about a subject.

Oh! I was introduced during the holidays by a cousin to her husband as "the photographer and the opinionated guy". Really? Me? I try very hard not to inject my opinion about politics, religion or anything that might be remotely controversial at family gatherings. To me it's akin to dropping your pants and mooning everyone - everyone knows you have an ass, they just don't need to know about it up close and personal. Turns out the reference was to a Facebook posting about Chik-Fil-A and how the founder of the restaurant had given almost 2 million dollars to anti-GLBT groups in 2009 alone. The WinShape Foundation is the charitable arm of the restaurant and this link  will take you directly to information on where some of that giving went in 2009.

Unnamed cousin said she could see my point but the WinShape Foundation does a lot of good in the community and Georgia in general. The founder and chairman S. Truett Cathy does gives a lot of money to help worthy organizations in his home state and also helps send underprivileged kids to summer camps. While that is in deed a noble and kindly gesture there are two points I would like to point out. One, he's still excluding an entire community and firing off millions of dollars to hate groups whose soul(less) purpose is to deny the GLBT community equal rights. Second it's really not his money but that of of the patrons of his restaurants. If someone is concerned that a disadvantaged child wont' get to go to camp, save yourself a few trips through Chik-Fil-A and sponsor a child yourself.

And for the sake of fairness, I did find it admirable that a company would stick to religious beliefs and not be open on Sunday to honor the Sabbath. I also have eaten there only one time in the three and half years that we've been back in Indianapolis - we live less than two miles from one of their stores. I didn't find their food all that great. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't worth going back for. That's not bias on my part, I didn't find out about their "charitable" giving until sometime last summer.

And the link I referred to on Facebook?  Here it is.  It's an open letter to the founder and CEO of Chik-Fil-A from a blogger named John Paul from Oklahoma. I found his blog when a friend of mine originally posted this letter to his Facebook page. The more I read him the more I feel less like I'm on a soapbox and more like I'm on a soapdish. I can't promise that I won't be pulling out the box more - I probably will - but it was time for me to stop being so bloody polite all the time. The more voices added to the conversation, no matter how small or quiet they be, the more will be exposed of the hypocrisy that is the conservative movement.


(Part 2 to follow shortly.)