I'm Dreaming of a...

One of the hazards of this time of year is the constant onslaught of messages telling us to create the most magical Christmas ever! Compound that with this being the busiest time at work and you can see why I just wanted to go hibernate somewhere - alone. Instead I decided to make the best of it and tune to the Holiday Station on streaming radio with my smart phone instead of hearing the same 20 pop songs ad nauseum. Yeah I know, my first mistake. Here's some things I've learned from listening to "Sounds of the Season" for the past few days while at work.

1) The worst holiday song is not, I repeat is not "The Little Drummer Boy." In fact The Jackson Five's version is probably the best in my opinion because it is decidedly more upbeat. Plus you can't get a better message than a song that says giving of yourself is the best gift. No the worst song by far is "Baby's First Christmas" By Connie Francis.  Just typing those words has caused the song to loop endlessly in my brain. It's an inane, cloying, and insipid piece of work that someone found in a dustbin somewhere and decided to throw into the mix for a little variety. Which brings me to...

2) There are only 15 Christmas songs that have ever been written. Go ahead, name more than fifteen. Can't do it can you? There are on the other hand thousands of versions of the same songs recorded every year. It's a record label contract requirement that at some point in a singer's career they have to record an album of Christmas music. Need proof? Barry Manilow. Bette Midler. Britney Spears. That point is usually on the down side of their career trajectory. And this brings me to another singer who probably has done more harm with their renditions of Christmas songs...

3) Dean Martin. Rudy the Red Beaked Reindeer? Really? I understand that artists want to put their own "stank" on music but this is one that should have been bitch-slapped and told "nuh uh." I'm blaming him for everyone jumping on the bandwagon for the besmirchment of "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Before Deano got a hold of it it was about two people who are trying to come up with any excuse to stay together a little longer for an evening. After listening to Dean's version several times a day I can understand why people think the guy put something in the gal's drink. I always thought that the girl was trying to give herself an out and saying she wasn't responsible for her actions. You have to remember that at the time the song was written it wasn't respectable for a single woman to be in a man's home after a certain time of the night.

The old saw about everything in moderation also applies to Christmas music. I don't know why stations haven't figured out that all or nothing doesn't work. A better way would be to mix Christmas music in with the regular stuff. Oh, one last thing, would someone destroy all the copies of 'Babies First Christmas" please?