Today is the start of a brand new year - no news there unless you live in a cave. This is the time when we reflect back on the prior year and try to wrap up everything that has happened. Or we try an exercise in futility by looking forward and guess what the new year is bringing. Even worse are the posts about trying to make improvements in our lives through resolutions, promises, and pledges. Ugh. I'll spare you any of that today.
This blog has been a big pain in my ass at times quite honestly. More than a few times I've even contemplated pulling the plug and not writing it any longer. I've put a lot of pressure on myself to come up with things that may be witty, sometimes profound, or just plain observations about life around me. Something has happened recently that has given me a change of heart and spurred me to write maybe a little more often than I have in the past year or so.
The Internet can be a great time waster while pursuing information/knowledge. For someone like me there are a lot of distractions (look! a squirrel!) that have kept me from being a little more productive with the time I have. I'd like to say that the reason I haven't written more is that I've been trying to stay away from the Internet in general because of it. That is so not the case with me. Then something happened that makes me want to write more. It may be hubris on my part, but maybe this really isn't anything more than trying to help other people. The title of this post comes from the response given to Kurt Vonnegut by his son when the senior Vonnegut posed the question to his offspring about the meaning of life. It may not be the best answer, but sometimes the simplest reason is enough.
Years ago, decades actually, our family minister told me that God has a plan for all of us, we just need to listen closely to find out what that plan is and do it. Ha! Easier said than done. Recently though I've had the great privilege of chatting with a young man on the other side of the planet. He discovered my blog by chance and contacted me to chat about a few things he has read here. Over the course of the past month or so I've developed a friendship with him. One of the things that he said is that for the first time he feels that someone out there understands what he feels. He has never told anyone before that he is gay.
He's from a small town in his country and feels that he has no one close to him to talk to about his feelings. Very similar to my early years growing up in a small town, he's afraid that he will lose the few friends he does have. At first I felt a little bit uncomfortable with this new role as mentor, but I've come to see it as helping a friend talk through things and I've become more than just a little protective of him. Once he said he was very near to telling a friend that he is gay, but at the last minute didn't. He hated that he couldn't say it.
I don't like giving advice. It puts me in an uncomfortable position of feeling like I am then responsible for that person for any outcome to their decision. One of the things I told him though was to come out at his own pace, tell people only when he feels comfortable doing so. Relaying my own personal stories as well as coming out stories of other friends I think is the best way and I reminded him that it's his life to live however he wants and he only has to answer to himself and his own timetable for if and when he does come out to people. The people in his life who truly care about him won't care one way or another and the ones who react negatively were not really his friends to begin with. True friends won't care except that they want to see you happy with your life.
Well he told someone last night. He's started out the New Year with revealing his true nature to the very friend that he had nearly told several weeks ago. Their response? They love him no matter what and just want him to be happy. So here's to you to my young friend. It takes a lot of courage to live life honestly and I'll always be there to help and support you in any manner I can.
Now, when do I get my toaster oven?
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