Hang in there or let go already

It must be the Gemini in me.  I've been looking at this leaf that is still hanging on to our flowering pear tree growing in the front yard.  It has turned brown from the cold of winter.  And yet it still is hanging there, swaying whenever the slightest breeze passes by.  Snapping to and fro like a pennant when the wind picks up.  It's the last one left on the tree and makes me wonder what it's doing just hanging there.  I keep thinking it should just let go already and turn itself into compost.

Then I find myself watching it sway gently in the January sun and minutes have gone by.  There's something mesmerizing about that damned leaf.  I've actually been watching it for at least 15 days, waiting for the falling temperatures to finally snap the bond between the leaf and the branch - so far not happening.  So now my blog has turned into "Leaf Watch 2010" which makes me akin to the local weather forecasters who take a certain glee in turning any snowstorm with the potential of over an inch of accumulation into a piece of hyperbole hopefully unrivaled by their peers.  Amateurs.

"OK.  So now what?" they ask.  Is there some major decision that he's been vacillating on?  Or is it as simple as being in the moment and enjoying the random beauty of a solitary leaf oscillating in the breeze on a gray winter's day.  Maybe it's watching others around weighing their options for the thousandth time and wondering what is it that makes it so hard for them to make a decision. 

Ah.  But that's just the problem, isn't it.  It's easy to make the decision for others when you don't have anything at stake.  For the outside observer, things may be very black and white but more often than not there are so many various shades of gray that it's difficult for the person inside the situation to see the edges of the problem (or sometimes problems) as they all seem to fade into one large pool of indecisiveness in which the person doesn't even realize they are drowning.  (See what I mean about hyperbole? Amateurs.)

I don't have anyone specific in mind.  I just have several friends that I know are unhappy in their current situations.  Some of them are trying to figure out their professional lives ("...and what do you want to be when you grow up?")  Some of them just have a general malaise around their love life.  Either they're in a relationship that they don't want to be in or they want to be in one and aren't.  Then there are the friends who are having trouble believing that the grass isn't greener elsewhere and can't see that what they have is pretty weed free. 

I had a friend years ago that owned his own business.  He noticed that I would always make the same laps around the store to look at things whenever I came in.  One day he told me to walk my usual path the in the opposite direction.  I couldn't believe all the new things they had.  Only it wasn't new merchandise, but I had trained my eye to only look in the same direction and missed everything else.  The trick is to not change where you are, but to take a different way of looking at what's right in front of you.  Or at least look at things differently before changing where you are and then you can decide if you want to hang on a while longer, or let go already.

In case you're wondering, I'm just trying to decide what it is I need to write about.  And not on this blog.  Some things require much more space than I want to give here.  I'm lazy that way.  Up next time, a continuation (Sher says FINALLY!) of "Connecting the Dots."  Until then...