I have a favor to ask of everyone.
My sister-in-law Becky’s mother Dee passed away this morning after a short - way too short - battle with lung cancer that had metastasized to just about every possible organ. They had just learned only a few weeks before Thanksgiving that it was there and terminal. My S-I-L found out about it in the most horrific way possible. Becky is a nurse and was looking at x-rays of a patient before consulting the chart to see who the patient was and could clearly see how bad the cancer was. You can surmise the rest.
Dee's wishes were to be cremated and that there is to be no funeral. She wanted her family to try and enjoy the holidays and remember what this time of year is truly about. Becky said that after the holidays that the family might get together for a memorial tribute of some sort. Becky is also an incredibly warm and generous woman. I think that in itself is a very fine tribute to her mother.
My favor is this: please send any thoughts, energy, or prayers to Becky and her family. This has been an incredible shock for everyone. I only knew Dee for a brief amount of time and the loss is unimaginable for even me. Dee was an incredibly thoughtful, warm and caring woman that made the world a better place with her presence. I'm sure my brother Matt is feeling the loss particularly keen as well. Dee treated him like her own son, joking around with him, getting flustered with his bad jokes (yes they run in our family.) She treated him like someone who mattered and not like someone who could break her daughter's heart. She gave him a chance. To me, that is the ultimate in being a good person. Give people a chance every now and then and they just might surprise you with their potential.
Dee was always glad to see us and Riley. She seemed to adore our little one. And she was always interested in what ever was going on in our lives, making sure that we had settled in to our home, and making us feel like we were part of her family. In a way I guess we are.
Thank you everyone,
Jim
2 comments:
jim, I know it's a bit late, but i send my most heartfelt prayers and wishes that Dee's family get through their grief (and you yours my darling) and remember to celebrate her life and the lives you've all shared together.
Tex X
Ps - One of my fave writers, Mandy Sayer, wrote a beautiful ode/short story in tribute of the death of her beloved father and new beginnings after that. It's called 'Love and Death in Darlinghurst'. You can find it in an anthology called 'Take Me With You'. I think that it could be of some comfort if you can locate a copy. I've forgotten the name of the editor (Sarah something??), but I'll get back to you on that. Sarah Waters maybe, come to think of it? Whatever, I'll get back.
Sarah Macdonald is the name of the editor. If you cannot find a copy I'm more than happy to send you one.
Like I said, I do think it could really soothe the soul!
Tex X
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