Just a little update from the goldfish bowl

I wanted to update you a little on what's been going on. I have been working on some new posts, but the goldfish that has taken the place of my brain is in full control at the moment. Hopefully, over the next few weeks I'll be able to ween myself off the anti-depressants that make it nearly impossible to hold onto a thought for more than a few moments. I needed to go on them back in February while trying to deal with the reality of who my mother is and with some problems with the environment at work. Both it turns out, I have absolutely no control over. Um, duh.

What I can control is how I react to them. Thanks to Judy, a woman I work with, I finally realized that there is nothing I can do except to walk away from my mother. I found out that my mother was in the hospital just 10 minutes from my house and was debating on if I should visit her or not. Judy looked me right in the eyes and said "Jim, if she wanted you there, she would have got word to you somehow." And in that moment I knew she was right.

So, the posts I've been working on have delved deeper into these events. They've not been easy to put down in words due to the facts that they are one: extremely personal, and two: I have a goldfish as a brain right now.

I know that several of you have been checking on things over here to see if there is anything new and I thank you for that. George, I would be remiss for not acknowledging what your words on Haven's blog have meant to me. Thank you. I really can't take all the credit for the family that I have created for myself. It was just a matter of making the right choices and recognizing what God has presented me with. Sher, your example of how you live your life and who you have become from what and where you came from is truly inspiring. I feel incredibly lucky to have you both as friends. There are so many others that I want to thank also, but the goldfish is still swimming around saying to himself "Ooh, isn't this lovely!"

So for now, goodnight and thank you. And if you have the chance, drop some flakes in the bowl for the fish, would ya?